exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
