this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
