can we get nightvision for the apartment?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize