I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
