How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize