The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
