So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
