Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
