I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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