went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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