I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
