Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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