I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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