I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This baby is an asshole
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
