my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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