i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The air was thick with penises
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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