I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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