Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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