ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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