Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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