I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
