I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
