I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
