It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
foreskin is a definite game changer
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
