if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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