I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
