How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
