we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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