Non-Jews are for practice
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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