I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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