Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
