Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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