one two three fourrrrnication!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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