Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
