Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
