She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
