Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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