So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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