What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I touched a dick in church today
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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