Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize