just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
