It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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