Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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