You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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