Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
