i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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