There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
