I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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