Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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