This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
