Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This baby is an asshole
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
