I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
