if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize