I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
