Betty ford says i'm here all night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
