I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
