who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize