I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
