so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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