whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize