I wish I could punch you in the face.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
